IMG_0180My name is Kristen, and my husband, Jake (age 41), very unexpectedly passed away in August 2014.  We have four children–I’d say “beautiful children”, but at the moment I’m not feeling so generous.  There are supposedly stages of grief; these “steps” people go through when they lose someone they love.  There are “advice-givers”, well-intentioned people who give you “tips” on how to get through holidays and anniversaries.  You will not get advice or tips from me.  I have accepted that I am grieving in my own way-and just because I’m not following the “steps”, doesn’t make it wrong.

A very wise friend of mine described something called “The Kristen Suit”.  She explained that on the outside, I still look like Kristen, talk like Kristen, and act like Kristen.  For all the world to see, I am still the Kristen I was “before”.  But on the inside, I am completely different and all messed up.  My friend compassionately stated that it must be very exhausting for me to be wearing my “Kristen Suit” all of the time.  The “Kristen Suit” was the first thing that made any sense to me.

I’ve never written a blog before, but I have stories to tell. My stories are about how I navigate the world without my Jake.

2 responses to “About

  1. Your words are very wise–you must be you. There are no words to help with such a tragic loss. Each of us grieves in our own way. I will however be here if you ever need to talk. Love Aunt Barbie


  2. Kristen,
    My goodness time has passed and yet I was so out of the loop to hear or read about your loss. I’m so sorry. Though my son in law passed two years or will be two in march the grief you continue to feel is okay. He was a great dad and even though his body isn’t here I believe my granddaughter as well as us who cared dearly feel his spirit. Jakes there and always will be there with you as well. Keep looking for signs encase there is always one from those whom we have lost . Whether it’s the trinkets left on the log or above a cloud that appears to have wings. Look deep into those children’s eyes and Jake is there. Greive, be pissed and even scream. It’s okay, but also know that jake although I never met him, might just give you that look although nd you’ll feel the hug that hug you miss. I’m so sorry your loss. And I’m sorry I’m just now seeing this. He’s with you always and you do you sister hang in there sweetie. And and whomever took that jersey shame on them one day it will return. Take care and call if you need an ear. 2085908497


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